called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
