Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
