I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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