What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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