I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
