batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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