My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
