You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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