I must be too annoying 4 u.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
