I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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