hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize