Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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