you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
