Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
