No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
