I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
