Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
