you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
