it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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