So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
