the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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