It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
