i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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