i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
