Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
