Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
