I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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