No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
50% drunk capacity currently
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize