you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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