He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
