Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It was confusing and full of hummus
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
