Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
