2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
