somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
