Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
