I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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