I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
