you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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