Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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