Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize