what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
