Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
