There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
