If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
