I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize