they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
