I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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