SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
