What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
