I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
