That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize