brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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