My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
