They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
