I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
