I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
