I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
