maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
