so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
