when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
