I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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