Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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