I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
from now on my penis is your penis
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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