He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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