You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize