I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
why is half of my head shaved?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
