OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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