After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
