Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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