I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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